Ruin Dogs

The Funny Landscape

Overview

The Funny Landscape is located on a ruined city. Regions of it are flooded. A massive storm is happening outside. It is occupied by Sahuagins. Jordan Poston The Miserly, a Drow Priestess of Lolth is here. The Sahuagins are ruled by Jordan Poston The Miserly. He is founding a new religion.

Artifact

The Unfortunate Protection

The Unfortunate Protection is a powerful artifact in the shape of a wet sphere. It smells like plum. Gravity flows around it. It is a sickly pink color. When picked up it tunnels into the earth.

Locations

the orthodox tunnel

There are five Sahuagin Priestesses here. The air smells like chestnut here. The brick walls are unsettled. The floor is sticky. If the Sahuagins notice the Ruin Dogs, one of them will retreat and alert the others.

To the west a small walkway leads to the liberal garden.
To the east a twisted gap opens to the voluntary greenhouse.
To the north a twisted walkway connects to the thin cistern.
To the south is the entrance.

the voluntary greenhouse

Red razorgrass is growing in cracks in the floor. The air tastes like rye bread here. There are a Giant Lizard, a Yeti, a Shadow Demon, two Death Dogs, and here.

To the west a twisted gap leads to the orthodox tunnel.
To the south a windy gap leads to the realistic spire.

the thin cistern

To the east a twisted hallway leads to the ordinary workshop.
To the north a flooded cave opens to the green bedchamber.
To the south a twisted walkway connects to the orthodox tunnel.

the realistic spire

There are a Giant Ape, a Grick, a Succubus, and a Minotaur Skeleton here. The stone walls are unsettled.

To the north a windy gap leads to the voluntary greenhouse.
To the south a windy corridor leads to the lonely tower.

the liberal garden

The floor is bloodstained. The mirrored walls are ruined. Yellow ferns are decaying from the ceiling.

To the west a hazy hallway leads to the crude foyer.
To the east a small walkway opens to the orthodox tunnel.

the green bedchamber

The air smells like radish here. There are five Sahuagin Priestesses here. The brick walls are covered in mold. There is a trap here. When activated, a magical sound detector will shoot a lightning bolt. One of the Sahuagins is working a mechanism that can engulf the room in a fiery blaze.

There is a worm here.
The Unfortunate Protection is here.
To the west a small artery connects to the complete repository.
To the east a dripping opening opens to the fragrant parlor.
To the south a flooded cave opens to the thin cistern.

the fragrant parlor

There are a Displacer Beast, a Deep Gnome, a Flameskull, and an Intellect Devourer here. Blue lichens are decaying in broken urns. The brick walls are caving in.

There is a drake here.
Jordan Poston The Miserly is here.
To the west a dripping opening connects to the green bedchamber.

the lonely tower

The air smells like passion fruit here.

There is an engraving on the ceiling written in Sahuagins Script.

A cheese is a percent

wrong and impossible

representative, scientific, separate

outer and cheerful

The Unfortunate Protection

gregarious, tidy, secure

We are joyful

but never democratic

There is a table here.
To the north a windy corridor connects to the realistic spire.

the crude foyer

There are a Dust Mephit, a Kenku, a Myconid Adult, a Young Remorhaz, an Awakened Shrub, a Flying Sword, a Beholder Zombie, and an Animated Armor here. There is a trap here. When activated, a tripwire will launch a swinging block. The floor is sticky.

There is an engraving on a stone written in Sahuagins Script.

A star is a side

yet never good

The Unfortunate Protection

technical, constructive, deep

To the east a hazy hallway connects to the liberal garden.
To the north a dark cavern opens to the frozen cave.

the ordinary workshop

The obsidion walls are caving in. There are five Sahuagin Priestesses here. One of the Sahuagins is on watch, the rest are sleeping.

To the west a twisted hallway leads to the thin cistern.

the frozen cave

There are a Tribal Warrior, a Black Bear, a Gargoyle, a Berserker, a Flying Sword, a Clay Golem, and an Ogre here. White moss is decaying in a patch on the floor. The air tastes like bread crust here.

To the south a dark cavern opens to the crude foyer.

the complete repository

The wooden walls are ruined.

To the east a small artery connects to the green bedchamber.